has the time come?

tonight i looked at all my belongings, and for the first time in almost 5 years, realised that if my time is up here, i could leave it all, and go back home. i had thought about going home so many times, but never really looked at everything and think about the logistics to actually leave. i never thought this day would come. this country has been my dream for so long, it is really in my heart. my heart was never back in australia. sometimes, i wonder though, would i yearn to move back overseas after i move back home?

even though china is in my heart, this country that i fell in love with has changed so drastically in the last 5-10 years that it is also turning into something else. and imagining a future in this same city, is becoming more and more difficult. there seems to be less and less things keeping me here. it really is time for me to start praying about the future, maybe the time has really come for me to move on. to let go of this dream and reach for the future, even though i can barely see the steps in front of me.